I have struggled with mental illness, multiple suicide attempts and self harm for many years. I have been diagnosed with EUPD, also known as BPD, which is a personality disorder that dominates my life.
I never thought there was any hope but with the correct support from my boyfriend, friends, family and professionals, I now know there is in fact hope.
Things that have helped me on my bad days are listening to music through headphones.
I listen to the lyrics but also analyse the backing track because it makes you focus so deeply on the music and not the potentially harmful and negative thoughts in your head. <3
Another thing that massively helps me is tidying up or moving my bedroom around.
I know that when you’re low, things slip and become untidy. Tidying distracts your brain for that period of time and I always find it makes you feel so much better when you’re done.
On the flip side, when I have hypomania – moving my room around helps massively too. It stops you from being impulsive but also fills the urge without being destructive.
I have spoken to CAMHS, the YES service and been to group therapy. While I haven’t always had a positive experience with them, you just need to wait until you find the right person you can connect with properly and someone you feel is giving you the right help professionally.
Don’t give up, it is so worth it eventually. Your future self will thank you and remember that you are worthy of help. <3
Never be scared to reach out to your friends/family/significant other, no matter what.
As hard as it may be talk to them, you’re never a burden and they’re here for you and would never not want to help you. They care!
Some advice I would give to anyone who is struggling with poor mental health and suicidal thoughts is: please, please keep fighting, keep talking to people and keep putting yourself first, doing things that make it that little bit easier for you to cope each day.
It is so bloody worth it and I know you’ve heard it a million times but please trust me.
Things may never become ‘better’ or ‘okay’ but it will become easier to deal with and easier to understand your thoughts and feelings and why you are dealing with them.
I didn’t think I was going to make it to this year but with the right support around me I still am, fighting, but here. And you can do it too. I’m so proud <3